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Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem reportedly had her bag stolen while dining at a restaurant in Washington, D.C., on Sunday night—and the items she was carrying around are raising some eyebrows.
According to Noem’s Secret Service detail, security camera footage revealed a masked man absconding with ICE Barbie’s bag, raising an obvious question: How did a petty thief get so close to a Cabinet-level official with a personal security team?
Law enforcement officials told CNN that the stolen bag contained her driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, her passport, her Department of Homeland Security access badge, a makeup bag, blank checks, and around $3,000 in cash.
Wowsers.
Noem later told Newsweek that she was carrying those wads of cash in order to “treat her family to dinner, activities, and Easter gifts.” How many chocolate bunnies was she planning on buying, exactly? And was she planning on flying those bunnies out of the country?
Related | You won’t believe how much Homeland Security pays for secretary’s cosplay
Critics were quick to note that the Trump administration cast suspicion on the wrongfully deported Kilmar Abrego Garcia for many bogus reasons—including the fact that he was carrying $1,178 in cash during a 2019 arrest that did not result in any charges. The Maryland man was detained in March, accused of being an MS-13 gang member, and sent to a notorious Salvadoran prison where he continues to be held while Democratic lawmakers fight for his release.
So brown man carrying a lot of cash = violent gang member, but white woman carrying more than double the amount = nothing to see here?
LIke many right-wing elected officials, Noem enjoys performing in costume, often throwing on pristine law enforcement and emergency responder gear in order to project the illusion of productivity. The Trump administration has even allocated $200 million in taxpayer dollars for Noem’s ongoing media campaign.
So when you consider how much Noem’s publicity stunts cost the American taxpayer, $3,000 and a blank checkbook is chump change.
Whether she’s flying down to El Salvador to hype up our human rights violations or pretending to be a border patrol agent, one thing is clear: Kristi Noem is a costly disgrace.
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