Booorrrnn in the U.S.A.! – The Trek

Gatlinburg. Gatlinburg. Gatlinburg. It’s something I’ve thought of ever since I read A Walk in the Woods. Five Lives’ (Anne’s taken on a trail name since last I wrote) descriptions have also had me salivating to see it. “The Vegas of the Smokies.” Tacky tourism calls my name in a way, and I feel like this is where my only taste of it is going to be.

For once, I got up relatively early, and trucked my way down trail. However, I quickly realized something, I didn’t know if I was going to see Richard again! While Five Lives, Danielle and I were planning on staying in Gatlinburg, he was going to take shelter in Standing Bear Farm, while an inch of rain was supposed to wash over the Smokies. So I ditched my pack about .3 miles up the side trail, and ran back to say goodbye, just in case. He told me though that his plan was to go back to Newfound Gap the same day that we were. Whew.

The days’ hike passed by without a hitch. At Standing Indian Gap, where the AT skirts but doesn’t touch Kuwohi road, there was a group providing Pimento Cheese sandwiches! I’d shown up before the rest of their trail magic squad showed up, but they were extremely gracious and giving. They’d even offered me a ride to Newfound Gap, but I needed to do it on my own feet. After all, we’re here to make a continuous footpath! And it’d only been three miles to get there.

Two more miles later, and I found an overwhelming buffet of trail magic. There was a guy just hiking giving out candy and treats to thru hikers. And then there were three groups all handing out fruit, sodas, resupplies, burgers, and shuttles. Some were former thru-hikers doing it out of wanting to give back to the community. Others were doing it as memoriams for fallen friends. And finally there were also groups doing it as parts of their church, looking to give back. All of it was greatly appreciated.

One church was running shuttles to Kuwohi, and then back to Gatlinburg, so we loaded into the shuttle, and after a few windy roads (and beautiful views of the Smokies), we were dropped off at the NOC in Gatlinburg! And dang, it was HOT. I don’t remember what exactly, but given that we were almost at 6000 feet earlier, and now we were at 1800,  the sun was beating down on us much harder than before.

At least the NOC had AC. Here, we did a brief resupply. I forgot to mention, but while eating shit the other day, my spork flew out of my pack. I normally keep it in the water bottle pocket, so I could easily use it for lunch. However, luckily, one of the Dutch boys had an extra he wanted to get rid of anyways! “The Trail Provides” might be overused, but also, in some ways, the trail is always set up to provide.

I also switched out my BRS for a Pocket Rocket. I was just getting frustrated at how long the BRS took to heat up things, and even though it’s as ultralight as ultralight gets, I also wanted some more fuel efficiency.

Finally, I switched out my Lone Peaks for some Timps. I debated between the Timps and the Olympus for a while. I decided to go with the Timps for now — I’ve been wearing minimalist shoes for so long that I didn’t want to immediately go into the gargantuan stack height that the Olympus provide. But the rock plate is sooooo tempting. The issue with the Timps is for some reason their toe box is narrower than the other two models. But I’ll get used to it I’m sure.

Our merry band then slogged our way over to Taco Trail. Not only were we all struggling with the heat, we were just hit by the complete “social bends.” The whiplash from waking up in a shelter to seeing tourists running amok was wild, to say the least. In Taco Trail, they run a special, where if you’re a thru hiker, you get a free bowl or burrito! And, well… we probably looked and definitely smelled the part.

The other unique thing about Gatlinburg is unlike the other towns we’ve hit up, Gatlinburg isn’t necessarily aware of the AT. In a way, it was fun to get some looks of confusion and questions. People wondering why we had such big packs in the middle of town, or why we looked like we’ve been through a tumble in the mud.

The group decided to make a pilgrimage for our hotel room, given the heat and our shape. After all, it’d be weird to show up at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! as we smelled. Walked down town towards the Crossroads Inn… and wow. After 18 days on trail, the amount of tourists swarming, the attractions (7D Earthquake ride! Escape room! Mirror maze!), and the shops (you know which ones if you’ve been…) were extremely overwhelming. But also entertaining. I loved it personally, and couldn’t absorb enough of em.

We chose the Crossroads mainly because it’s listed in AWOL and has laundry. But… it was hit and miss. The room was nice, and there was free breakfast included with our stay. But… they didn’t have detergent for laundry (even though they promised they did when we called) and the receptionist didn’t even know that they had it originally. I know other hikers found other hotels with laundry, but all the ones I called didn’t. YMMV. Oh well, not too bad of a roadblock. And it’s kinda AT privilege showing. I’ve seen other trails where people just wait for hours at laundromats in rain gear, at least we even have laundry. Anne and I grabbed detergent from a nearby BP, where I also saw the Ripley Mountain Coaster!… tempting.

We spent the afternoon waiting for laundry, resting up, and ducking the piercing sun. While we weren’t committed to a Zero the next day yet, the main report was of freezing rain. Cold is fine, wet is fine, but wet and cold sounds like asking for trouble. And not only that, but the NPS being underfunded might lead them to just close the road, as they’ve done before. After thinking about it, we committed to one. Almost three weeks on trail, and it’s finally time to let the legs rest. It’s better to take the zeroes early anyways, that’s where most overuse injuries occur.

Afterwards, we cleaned up, and strolled around town! There was a cool lil shop called “The Day Hiker” with some eccentric shirts, and tons of random gift shops to check out. I really wanted to check out the funnier sounding shops, like China Bazaar, which sold prop weapons, or…

We quickly scouted Walgreens to see if we could manage a resupply from it, but it turns out that we all wanted something more. Danielle went in and came out happy, but Five Lives, Michaela, and I all came out of the Smokies underfueled to say the least. One more thing to do tomorrow, hit up Food City.

Spent the rest of the night at Shamrock’s Pub, where we got some hiker food (and salads, don’t worry), before heading down the main road for some Belgian Waffles! I got a strawberry and chocolate one, but dipped early to finally call some friends from home. It’s been about three weeks since I left them after all. It was really good to catch up. I also had a chance to surprise them — I yawned. This might not sound like much, but at home, I was notorious for sleeping in til 11 before working, and sleeping around 2. Now, at 10PM, I was dead tired!

In terms of trying to fix yourself, the trail might not be magical. But it did provide me a way to fix my sleep schedule a bit. Just a bit.